I am so afraid that I am repressing a part of my sexuality by choosing to be with a man rather than continuing to find love in members of the same sex. I feel like a fake for never truly coming out as bisexual, and as I get older I can’t help but feel like I’m missing out somehow.
I’m just so afraid of being judged, even by my friends I consider to be the most accepting. Even though my boyfriend is accepting and understanding of my preferences, I know his family would be my harshest critiques. I love them all so much, but they can be such bigots I would never let them know I like girls.
I miss smoking weed all the time. Now I just smoke cigarettes all the time. I guess I need an alternative to that as well. Idfk, I just miss having that crutch, that little bit of satisfaction when I come back home. It helped me sleep better, too.
I’m doing so good with the no weed thing. I haven’t even been drinking as much either. :) I crave opiates a lot still, but I’m not actively seeking them. I don’t think the craving for opiates will ever go away, but I think I’m learning to live with that fact.
My NA teacher apparently doesn’t know how bleach works because she made the bleach water solution too strong and it completely ruined my pants. I am beyond furious. If one drop of the solution is strong enough to leave huge streaks and splotches on my pants, then you used too much bleach, dumbass.